I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize