she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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