So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
