Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
