I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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