Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize