what if every blade of grass was a penis?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
