i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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