maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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