ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
