Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
