i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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