toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
