Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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