There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I wish there were birth control emojis
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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