I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
