sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
