I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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