if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
