What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
