Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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