Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
