i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
