He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
