Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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