Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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