um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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