Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize