I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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