Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I did not marry a roomba.
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