Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
