Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
