pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize