hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
