I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
