Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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