You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
