She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
