Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize