I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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