I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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