I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize