she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize