How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
