WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
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Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
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