i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
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She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
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I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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