Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He? As in you personified your dick?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
