hotel room ftw
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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