When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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