totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
