So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
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Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
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The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm really busy with my period
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